I really hoped this day would never come, but Friday I took the walk of shame back through the doors of my local Weight Watchers center. I couldn’t believe when I signed back in to my eTools account, it had been a year, almost exactly, since I quit doing the program as an official member. Wow. And here I am again!
So let’s recap what’s been going on the past few years:
- I joined Weight Watchers in October of 2011 with an official starting weight of 237 and an official goal weight of 160.
- Over the following year, I lost almost 50 pounds and got down to the lowest weight I have ever been as an adult: 188.
- Over the holidays of 2012 I managed to gain back 10 pounds, bringing me back up to 198. That was the start of a really hard year for me.
- At the beginning of 2013, due to work and income changes, I ended up quitting Weight Watchers and trying to do it on my own — still following WW guidelines, and keeping to a very dedicated fitness plan throughout the year (You can check out my fitness log here.)
- I struggled all through 2013 to lose weight – desperately wanting to get back to 188 (not even dreaming about getting to goal weight!)… but if you followed my blog at all, you know…. my weight would not budge.
- Throughout the year I lost and gained the same 7 or 8 pounds but could never get back down to that elusive 188. The closest I ever got was 191.
- The holidays of 2013 struck, and my extreme frustration over my plateau… coupled with a really bad knee injury … sent me into a pretty bad funk diet-wise and although I didn’t completely go crazy, I didn’t do great either.
- That brings me to January 31 of 2014. I am ashamed and utterly humiliated to admit that my new starting weight as of Friday was 206.
I want to cry typing that horrible number out, but it is what it is. I can wallow in shame and pity or I can get over it and move on. I think I’ll choose the latter. That’s why I’m here confessing it to everyone publicly, and that’s why I decided I needed to actually go to a meeting and join Weight Watchers again.
It felt like deja vu walking back through the doors on Friday. I quickly remembered how much I dislike WW meetings. Don’t get me wrong… I need the WW meetings (apparently), but I really hate them. I hate the cheesy little stickers they hand out, I hate having to clap for everyone, I hate the scripted weekly messages the leaders give us. But I need it.
I need the accountability. I need to get in my car every week and drive somewhere and stand in front of someone and have them tell me if I lost or gained weight. I need to listen to the messages (as cheesy as they are) and remind myself of the things I need to be doing. Much like going to church each week, I need to be surrounded by people with my same vision and recommit every week to the things I know I need to do.
So there you go! I’m back! I have to say I’m a bit hesitant about the whole “Simple Start” thing they have us on for the first 2 weeks (more on that in future posts), but I’m doing it! And as usual… I’ll be keeping everyone posted of the progress (or lack thereof) right here on my blog. Wish me luck! I really feel like I need it.