I’ve been really struggling with this blog post (really silly because I know only a tiny handful of people will read it anyway), so bare with me.
I want to get on here and just let it all out — whine and complain and get all my weight-loss frustrations off my chest. But I also don’t want to discourage people. I would love to be one of those weight loss blogs that people flock to, to constantly feel inspired and motivated — to see monthly pictures of amazing weight loss and read about awesome weekly weigh-ins.
But right now that’s just not happening for me. So I’m sorry if that’s what you’re looking for, but I realized as I was thinking about it today… this blog is really for me. I started it to keep myself in check and have a place to record my journey, and this is part of my journey. So that’s what it’s going to be — the good, the bad and the ugly.
Right now I’m more in the ‘ugly’ zone, unfortunately. I’m just so frustrated. Not only am I still over 30 pounds overweight, but I’m still working to lose the ten pounds I gained at Christmastime. IT’S JUNE, PEOPLE!!!
It frustrates me to no end that I work out almost every single day — and lately it’s been twice a day — and I see nothing on the scale for it. It frustrates me that I am doing more diet/fitness-wise than I was at this time last year, but the scale won’t budge (and last year it was moving down down down). It frustrates me that I eat healthier and work out more than I have ever in my life and I see nothing for it.
And I don’t know what to do about it.
The scary part is, I know how I am. I know when I get to this point, this is when I give up. Can you blame me? How long can someone keep trying and trying and trying and not see anything for it before they give up?
I don’t want to give up. It scares the crap out of me to think about going back to the way I was. But it also makes me so tired to keep trying. It’s so much work to track every morsel of food I put into my mouth. It’s a lot of work (and time!!) to work out twice a day for 5-6 days a week. I spend a lot of time every week planning meals and workouts and shopping for healthy food. I put so much energy into this weight loss thing …. just to MAINTAIN?? Is that what it’s come to? Am I going to have to work this hard for the rest of my life just to stay 30+ pounds overweight? That doesn’t seem right to me! Geez, it’s frustrating.
So that’s where I’m at. Just one big ball of frustration. At this point, I’m not giving up… mostly because I keep convincing myself that maintaining is still better than gaining… but I don’t know how long I can continue to convince myself of that. It sure would be a lot easier to just throw in the towel!
But just so I don’t leave this blog post on a super down note, I thought I’d at least share with you a yummy little product I came across this week:
This Ready Pack salad is 280 calories and it was really good.. and filling.. and it comes with everything included in the pack. Even the fork! Two thumbs up from me.