Some Extra Weight Loss Incentive

Well it’s been a while since I’ve had time to post on here! Don’t worry… I haven’t fallen off the wagon or anything.  Just been dealing with some decisions that will probably mean some big life changes here shortly and have had other things I’ve had to spend my computer time on.

I admit… I’ve been a bit stressed out.  Apparently I’m not so great at making decisions or taking risks.  So I’ve been relying heavily on those exercise endorphins lately.  At my doctor’s advice (more on that in another post to come), I’ve upped my workouts to SIX DAYS A WEEK.

I can’t say that excites me, but like I said… I’ve needed those endorphins more than usual lately, so besides being good for my overall physical health, I think the workouts have been helping my psyche a bit.  Still stuck on my plateau, but honestly I can’t worry about that right now.  I’m just gonna keep on keepin’ on.

Here’s some great news, though.  I have almost convinced my husband to use our tax return (Yes, we filed and received it already! Yay for not procrastinating!) to book our vacation for this year and guess where I think we’re going!  Drum roll please ……

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Maui!!!!

I’m so excited just thinking about it!!  I’ve never been to Hawaii and it’s been on my bucket list forever so I can’t wait I can’t wait I can’t wait!!!!  I really hope it works out!!  We would be going at the very beginning of August, so that means I have about four months to try to feel better about myself in a bathing suit.  *cringe*

It would AMAZING to lose another 20 pounds by then — and for normal people, that would be completely do-able.  But since my body has decided it doesn’t want to lose weight any more, I’m not sure it’s actually possible for me.  But I’m not giving up!  If I can’t be 20 pounds lighter by then, I want to at least be more toned and strong.   I know I can do that.

So there ya go….  some new incentive to keep this weight loss journey going.  When I feel like giving up I’m gonna pull out this beautiful photo and dream of walking on that beach.  Ahhhh… I can’t wait!!!

Your Legs Are Not Giving Out …

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I usually hate little saying like this, but I saw this one on Pinterest right before I went out for my run on Saturday, and I have to say — it really helped!  Every time I felt like stopping because my legs were sooooo tired, I’d think of this and push it just a little bit farther.

I ended up doing my longest run yet — 44 minutes of running (and 14 minutes of walking).  And guess what?  My legs didn’t give out!  Right on!

Good For Me For Still Trying! (harrumph)

While my daughter is in her piano lesson on Thursday nights, I use the half hour to squeeze in a run.  So tonight I was making my loops around the neighborhood when one of my friends pulled up next to me in her mini van, rolled down her window and yelled “Good for you for still trying!”

Hmmmm…..

Now this friend is one of my only friends that knows even a little bit about how much I’ve been struggling with my weight loss, and that I’ve basically been plateau’d for 9 months now. She knows how frustrated I’ve been that I try so hard and just don’t see results any more, and she, too, struggles with her weight, so we’ve had a few conversations about it.  And I know my friend very well and she is one of the sweetest women on Earth.  Seriously, she is.

But I have to say… that comment kinda took me back.  I’m sure she didn’t even think anything of it as she rolled her window back up and drove away, but of course I spent the next mile and a half thinking I was pretty sure she meant to say “Good for you for still trying….because it sure isn’t doing any good!!”

Yes I realize that after 9 months of watching the scale do nothing but mock me, I suppose I might be the teeniest tiniest little bit sensitive about this subject… but I dunno… Whadya think?  Did I take that wrong?  Would you have thought the same thing?
Should I just shut up and actually be encouraged by words of encouragement?

Ok I think I just answered my own question.

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What’s with all these crazy-colored running shoes?

I finally had to break down and buy a new pair of running shoes yesterday.  It always pains me to plunk down so much money for a pair of shoes, but I know it’s just what I gotta do.  Mine were so worn down I could actually feel the ground under my feet the past few times I’ve gone out for a run, and my arches were starting to kill me. Not good.

So I went to the store yesterday looking for a normal-looking pair of Asics (my favorite brand) and let me tell you — they were not easy to find!  Who decided all of a sudden that we all want to wear neon green and fluorescent orange and pink while we’re running?  Call me an old lady, but I am not feeling all these crazy shoe colors!

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I ended up with a really nice pair of Asics Gel Exalt.  I’m not a huge fan of white (and of course they had to throw in some bright blue and neon green on the tongue), but they were super comfortable, and at least I won’t feel like a clown while I’m wearing them.

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Whadya think?  Too boring?  Do I need to get over my issues with neon shoes?
And the really big question — have I officially turned into an old lady?

Another Trader Joe’s Favorite: Reduced Guilt Spinach & Kale Greek Yogurt Dip

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Only 30 calories (or 1WW p+) for 2 tablespoons and this stuff is soooo good.  And I am not even a fan of Greek yogurt!  Try it right out of the container on raw veggies (carrots, radishes and mushrooms are my favorite), or heat it up in the microwave and it ends up tasting like a warm spinach dip — really good on pita bread or tortillas.

Mmm I’m gonna go have some right now.

Same Reflection, Different Perception

I remember when I got to this side of 200 pounds I felt so good.  Every time I’d catch a glance of my reflection it would take me a second to realize it was me, and I’d feel  a sense of pride as I’d realize it was the new me.  Pictures were the same.  When I’d see a photo of myself, I would stare at it and happily realize how much I had changed.

I remember feeling excited when my collar bones started showing.  I remember happily saying goodbye to my double chin. I remember being ecstatic when I could ditch the “plus size” section at Target and start shopping with the normal people. I remember feeling great when I had to donate all of my clothes and start over because none of them fit any more.

It used to really hit me when I was at the gym.  I’d be in a Zumba class or a step class, surrounded by all those mirrors, and I’d catch my reflection and be shocked that I didn’t look like one of the contestants on the Biggest Loser any more.  I felt like I looked like a healthy, active person.  It felt amazing.

But tonight I noticed the strangest thing. I was at the gym again … looking at my reflection through those same mirrors again …  But tonight my reflection looked completely different to me.  Tonight, all I could see were my enormous thighs and giant rear end.  I couldn’t stop focusing on the “spare tire” I could see bulging up around the top of my shorts.  I kept staring at the loose skin hanging down under my arms.  My bat wings.

Even though I was hustling through the workout — doing things with my muscles and my body I was never able to do 50 or 60 pounds ago — I kept looking at myself and picking apart every one of my flaws.  All I could see was the 30-40 pounds I still need to lose.

How did this happen??  I’m the same weight (actually a little less) as I was when I was feeling so great about myself, so how did my perception change so much?

If I was the really wise person I wish I were, I’d be wrapping up this blog post with the answer to my question.  I’d throw in some awesome inspirational quote and tell you how I had an epiphany and I’ll no longer feed myself all this negative talk.

But the truth is…. I really don’t know the answer.
I don’t understand how intellectually I can know and understand that I look exactly the same as I did then, but I can see something totally different in the mirror.  It makes no sense, and I know it.

Maybe one of you wise readers can enlighten me.  In the mean time, I’m going to think about it myself and I’ll let you know if I come to any brilliant conclusions.

Don’t hold your breath! 🙂

Up a pound…

… after running almost 10 miles last week and working my butt off in body burn class and tracking all my points and doing all the good WW stuff I’m supposed to do.

ImageAnd on top of that, my hairdesser cut my bangs too short so now I have to wear them straight down and I look like a big DORK!

Yeah… it’s been one of those weeks.  I honestly am not sure why I keep trying, but here’s to another week of trying my best!  meh.