I’ve started writing this blog entry a few times, and then stopped because I really hate to sound so negative. But here I am sitting at the keyboard again, still feeling the same way, so I apologize if you came here looking for rainbows and butterflies. Today I’m just not feeling it.
If you’ve checked out my Workout Journal (up top) the past couple of days, you probably noticed I was up 3 pounds at this week’s weigh-in. SUPER DISAPPOINTING. Yes I know I went to Disneyland, and yes I know I went “off plan” while there… but I got myself right back on plan when we returned Tuesday night, and I made sure I didn’t slack on my workouts at all this week. I even went running the morning we left for Disneyland (trust me I was super tempted to skip that one)! Surely that counts for something!
But no… apparently it does not.
I just can’t figure out what’s going on with me lately. Physically and mentally. When I joined WW this last time in October of 2011, I followed the plan very well, but I certainly didn’t go all crazy militant or anything. I had my days when I would eat off-plan and I definitely indulged on holidays and birthdays and such. Yet I lost weight fairly easily. I was able to lose 40 pounds in 9 months, even with the slip ups and “indulgences.”
Then last summer I got stuck at 188. And I mean really stuck. It didn’t seem to matter what I did, I couldn’t lose. But the weird part was…. I didn’t gain either! Even when we went on vacation and I ate pizza and candy like they were going out of style — I didn’t gain a pound! Even when skipping workouts for a week, I came back to that same 188 pounds.
I stayed at 188 all through the summer and most of the fall, while still following WW. Then the holidays came and I was so sick of seeing that number and feeling like I couldn’t do anything to change it, I got frustrated and pretty much went off Weight Watchers. I still tracked my food every once in a while, and for the most part I ate “on plan” except when I went to parties or special holiday events …which, unfortunately was pretty often. I also kept up with exercise, making sure I kept working out at least 4 days a week.
As you know, I came out of the holidays TEN POUNDS up. I started the new year at 198. So I kicked myself in the butt, got back “on plan,” started blogging again to keep myself accountable, and upped the intensity of my workouts. And where am I today as I write this? Five weeks later I am at 197.5. HOW FREAKIN’ FRUSTRATING IS THAT?!!
I can’t figure out why it’s not working for me this time. I really can’t. I keep tweaking things here and there to see if something will “trigger” a loss. I’ve started eating much less at night, I’ve started trying to do five workouts a week instead of 4, I’ve started cutting back on carbs…. all while tracking my food and following the WW plan as I always have. But here I am. Only 1/2 pound lighter than I was five weeks ago.
It’s really tempting to just say SCREW THIS and cancel my WW membership and do my own thing. But then I look at the progress I’ve made and the thought of going back to the “old me” scares the crap out of me. That’s not an option either.
So what to do, what to do….
I really don’t know.
Any advice? I’m all ears.